OPINION: I Am Not A Weirdo For Banning The Microwave From My House

This is a 3:30pm blog and as such doesn’t need to be the longest thing in the world. I’d rather just use as an opportunity to address something personal and relevant and today that’s the microwave.

Specifically, another instance happened this weekend where I floored someone with the knowledge that I don’t keep a microwave.

Someone: I’m looking at air fryers

Me: I love my air fryer. It’s great for heating up food

Someone: But I just bought a new microwave…

Me: I don’t have one so I use the air fryer when reheating a lot of..

Someone: YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKIN MICROWAVE? WHO ARE YOU BIN LADEN?

No I am not Taliban or Al Qaeda or apart of any other competing terrorist organization on the grounds that I don’t keep a microwave. My American citizenship is not at question here.

Instead, I’m more interested in why everyone freaks out when I say I don’t have a microwave. The first thing people ask me is if I’m out of my mind. An extremist? No.

The next question is what I do with cold coffee. And the answer is I drink it while it’s piping hot because I don’t have the luxury of reheating it half a dozen times in the morning like a lazy slut because I don’t keep a microwave.

But whyyyyyy

Takes up too much counter space. Then you’re always using it to reheat food. There’s a bunch of radiation going into my red meat or old gyro. The food tastes like shit and it just reinforces lazy habits around food. They’re gross and smelly and I don’t care to eat a lot of food that requires a microwave.

That’s the honest truth.

Next up?

Most things turn out better with a cast iron skillet in the oven at 300 degrees anyways.

And I concede this is maybe one of my biggest hardo takes of all time.

But I stand by the fact that it’s improved the quality of food in my life. Even down to a hot pocket getting baked in the over for 45 minutes like a hand rolled calzone. Even the worst foods come out so much better sans microwave.

Understandably – this is on the spectrum of being a weirdo, so you guys are more than welcome to see me like that without my personal protest.

Just first do me a favor and name ONE meal better off from the microwave and I’ll give you my attention.

Just one.

And yes you can take the Stouffers Family Lasagna bake tray.

Let me know when you get something.