This is maybe my favorite Chicago Bears highlight of all time and it honestly makes me feel good every time I watch it. Like the opening scene in Cliffhanger though, you’re hoping it goes differently every time you watch it. I don’t want to know the Bears get picked apart by Peyton Manning halfback dump offs anymore than I want to know Stallone drops the lady to her death. You watch it and every time you think maybe it could be different but it’s always the same. The Bears always lose and that lady always fuckin dies.
Even so, it’s still a great movie and Devin Hester’s kick return is still utterly magnificent – both of which are very deserving of regular rewatches.
I just wish there was more happiness to follow in any shape/form/fashion. I simply didn’t know at the time that it would be the peak moment of my Bears fandom. I wasn’t smart enough to have the foresight that most of every subsequent moment/game/season would be littered with nearly every form of NFL embarrassment. Really – I just didn’t see it coming at the time much less while it was unfolding in real time. For example I actually though Marc Trestman was going to be a decent coach. Sure, that’s on me.
Given a choice, I would like to have a magic lamp on hand complete with genie where you could look ahead and know if things get better or worse for your teams. I don’t need specifics, but it would be nice to call on the genie and ask him if the Cubs are going to make me happy or sad in the 1st half. That’s all I want to know.
Genie – will the Bears be better or worse under Ben Johnson?
I don’t want game scores and spoilers, but it would be nice to have some divine direction on where I should be spending my time. There’s nothing worse than sinking an entire Saturday night marinating a pork shoulder only to lose by 3 touchdowns on Sunday Night Football. I’ve been there far too long and it blows. Having some kind of indication as to How Much Time I’m Wasting With These Assholes would be a really nice relationship with a genie.
Genie – will the Bulls make an Eastern Conference Finals before Jerry Reinsdorf dies?
I want a genie so bad right now.
Genie – will I enjoy March Madness or is there a 30-0 run looming in the Elite 8 against my Illini?
Again, I don’t need to know the exact answers to everything. Just a little nudge along the way so I can manage my emotions and best use my time.
Genie – is that too much to ask?
No but neither is a competent offensive line and here we still are.
Fuck me and happy birthday to Devin Hester’s kick return. You really are ridiculous HIT THE COLLEGE HIGHLIGHTS