Some of us are going to enjoy a couple beers tonight. Some of us won’t. Wherever you stand on Friday cold ones, I think we all agree 51 diet pops is over the line.
When that video started, I thought 10-12 would be a nice showing. I expected a voiceover explaining the atypical health benefits of dr pepper zero on the hour every hour. 23 bold rich flavors actually increases your pre-lunch metabolic rate. Some catchy healthy fact you’d see on the cover of a MAXIM magainze in 2004.
Peak inside for why Dr. Pepper is SAVING LIVES
That would me amateur hour compared to this sociopath. Keep scrolling and you’ll see he just leased a midsize SUV to cut down on his trips to the grocery store. Of all the things worth limiting, he picked mileage.
But here’s the thing. Everyone of us is crazy in our own right. I’ve written 41 blogs this week for absolutely no one and I’m still going. One of my favorite things to do is watch amateur baseball and I legitimately talk to squirrels and they talk back to me. Some of them are very sassy and all them are brilliant.
My point is that I don’t want to judge the soda guy too much. Especially because I don’t want to be another one of his bodies sliced and stored in the basement freeze. Let there be no doubt this man sharpens larges knives in his free time from couponing. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.
That said here is my Unofficial Diet Soda Power Rankings:
5. Diet Barq’s
4. Cherry Coke Zero
3. Diet Coke
2. Diet Dr. Pepper
1. Diet A&W
Probably worth a longer discussion in a later blog. For now please have yourself a nice morning.
PS – I’m really slowing down here but I’m committed to the schedule. Just letting you guys know I’m doing me best here. Should become smoother as I onboard the first couple contributors. Keep your eyes peeled for some announcements soon,.