I unfortunately didn’t know this prior to my 3:30pm blog rom today or else it would have been the lead story. That’s on me and I take full 100% absolute accountability. I can and will be better.
Until then let’s just focus on how much Rory McIlroy has broken down since the US Open. I’ve never seen anything like it and it absolutely confirms my suspicions that he’s going to snap and kill someone at any moment. And quite frankly I’m scared that I’m the one he kills at a Ryder Cup practice round when I’m approximately 47 cold ones deep. It’s not that unrealistic when you think about it.
Especially within the context of the fact that he just STOLE SOMEONES PHONE.
For what exactly?
Talking shit. One of my favorite hobbies and now the penalty around Rory is losing $1,000 worth of technology. Even worse is this guy’s 100% still on the family plan or else you’re probably not chirping one of the world’s best golfers at The Players practice round. So now you gotta call dad from your buddy’s phone and explain that Rory McIlroy just threw your phone into the pond on 17.
Do you know how much your dad would have to like golf to be okay with you losing an iPhone 17s to Rory McIlroy’s rage?
But then the more he likes golf, the more of stickler he’s going to be towards your douchebag behavior.
Ipso facto you’re in No Man’s Land with daddy when you get home from the practice round and that’s a bad spot to be in as an early 20 something fuck boy. Speaking from experience here, that’s a hard age to win back lost respect.
Nevertheless Rory needs a break. I’m calling it now. You’re seeing it now. There’s no need to wait for an 80+ at the second round of The Masters for us to address that he needs a nap and a hot shower and maybe a blowjob from some hot piece of ass that’s good at sucking dick.
Get those boxes checked and then let’s talk because right now it’s getting ugly.