Opinion: It’s Okay To Bald

I don’t want to make a huge deal out of this but I was scrolling through my Cubs and Bears reddit feeds today and I kept getting this promoted ad to the point that I need to address it publicly.

I know I’m bald(ing).

The algorithm thinks this a weakness.

The algorithm thinks I’m insecure about my ever receding hairline and that I would benefit from increased regrowth with minoxidil. That I need clinically-proven ingredients to provide me with thicker hair in 3-6 months because I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE.

SO CHEW THIS PILL

And watch my balls shrink?

Is there another option where my hair falls out because that’s just part of life? The same way getting just a little bit fatter and slower every year? Can I just embrace that and try to enjoy myself or do I need to take pills and shave my balls with a field knife to make them extra smooth?

At what point can I just turn 38 years old and have 11 craft beers and fall asleep on the couch?

I think there’s an epidemic going on where a lot of guys think a lot of problems go away with good hair. There’s some weird mental disease where guys are associating their problems with the state of their hair. I don’t understand it at all.

My take is that most guys with great hair are doing okay in life. So if you have bad hair, it’s easy to look at a guy with good hair and think to yourself If only I had hair like Nicholas.

Then would all the girls like you?

Probably not.

That’s just a hunch.

I don’t want to make this too complicated and rub it in a bunch of people’s face because I understand not everyone feels this strongly/okay about themselves. But sincerely: once you get married, none of that shit matters.

If you’re a single guy, the smartest thing you can do is make money and be funny. BY FAR those are the two smartest things you can do to improve the quality of your life in all respects. And you definitely don’t need great hair to do either.

If only.

If only the hair transplant epidemic turned into a fake rack epidemic. That would be awesome.

They’re real if I can squeeze em

I’ve always said that and I always will.

Anyways.

My point is simple and I just wanted to share it. There could be one of you out there right now that’s saving for a procedure and picturing a life where everyone loves you because you no longer wear a hat to outdoor music festivals. Or whatever weird scenario you’ve built in your head.

It’s not real.

You’re plenty good enough the way you are… but also maybe hit the gym?

That’s usually the best starting point to self-improvement without having to carve the back of your skull every 3-5 years.

And I know this is a huge hardo take from a guy presently balding, but the whole movement is just exhausting to me. Like it honestly makes me sad tot hink about the number of bros out there walking around just terribly sad with themselves. Makes me wonder what else is out there hurting everyone’s feelings.

And in turn, that actually makes me really sad.

So let me reiterate. You’re plenty good. You don’t need the pills or those surgery or any of that shit. You just need some better friends and maybe a decent woman in your life.

Easier said than done, sure. But that doesn’t make it any less true.