We’ve got MLB opening day this week and plenty to talk about with the Cubs. But every now and then you need a good palette cleanser to keep the baseball fresh and that brings me to Turkish Second Division Professional Soccer.
Just an outstanding moment for sports everywhere. Peanties convert at a bout 83% which means there’s a simple probability of 99.6% that this does NOT happen.
The best part is obviously the teammate having to throw the goalie pinnie over his own jersey after the starter gets red carded. It’s like bringing in the right fielder to pitch with the bases loaded and he strikes out the side. Or when the Jets had to use their punter as the emergency QB and he ended up going for 165 yards and 2 touchdowns.
The Jets still lost because they’re the Jets but it was an awesome moment. As a Bears fan I have a profound inclination towards unsuspecting quarterback success.
Anyways the Turkish penalties align perfectly with my growing obsession with soccer. Especially because I almost never think about the goalie unless it’s Aston Villa or the Italian national team because those guys are real characters.
You see these two guys coming, you turn around and you walk the other way. Okay? Let me tell you that right now.
Observation #2 about goal keeping – such a beautiful and majestic position across all sports. Like a big jungle cat, so much bouncing and pouncing. Closest comparison I think is a good 3rd baseman and even then you see guys who hit their way out of average defense.
Goalies don’t have the luxury of being able to hit for power & average. They need to be elite at one thing only and that’s keeping a clean sheet.
On the subject of which, you know I love highlights as much as anyone anywhere. You know I’m a qualified expert. So you know you can trust me when I say goalie highlights are some of the best highlights in sports.
I was hoping you wouldn’t believe me
See for yourself
Anyways don’t forget the most important thing and that’s goalies are weird. Whatever sport. Whatever season. Whatever country or culture or whatever. Goalies trap and smell their own farts. They keep weird hours and abide by traditionally atypical social customs. Like Gypsies without the wagons and hookers. So enjoy the acrobatics but always remember to maintain a safe distance and avoid eye contact at all costs.
