The Cubs have a big 9pm game tonight to reach .500 that’s basically the center of my universe right now.
But before we get there, I want to share this clip of Mike Tomlin because very simply: it’s hilarious watching a grown man sweat and struggle like that.
Reminds me of this time I had a job interview like 12-13 years ago pretty recent out of school and I thought it was on a Thursday but was actually on a Wednesday. And I realized it after I took an XR Adderall to study for a law school midterm. So now I’m fuckin WIRED when I realize I need to be in the Loop in like 45 minutes.
Uber has maybe 5 employees at this time so don’t even think about calling a car.
Shower doesn’t take.
I’m firing through the closet looking for my only matching jacket/pants combo.
Should I just reschedule this job interview?
I don’t think it works like that dude. You better hurry up and print those resumes.
I ended up walking into that conference room 20 minutes late looking like I just ran a personal best 10K in my Jos. A Banks untailored, off-the-rack 46 regular that’s crawling up my ass and out my fuckin mouth.
I’m spilling marbles every time I talk.
Absolute disaster start to finish.
My greatest weakness is strength
I felt so bad for the guy on the other side of this interview. I was sweating through the lapels of my suit jacket, chewing the gum hard enough to be a 4th liner in Calgary, asking just about the worst questions you could field from a prospective employee.
TELL ME ABOUT THE CULTURE. I’M BIG ON CULTURE. I WANT MORE CULTURE.
Funny thing is I almost got that job but screwed up the personality assessment at the end of the hiring process. Apparently the ONLY thing you couldn’t do was whip through the assessment under 10 minutes because the ONLY thing they measured was how much time you spent on the assessment. They were measuring how much I cared and the primary unit of measurement is Time Spent Working On This Task
Congratulations Mr. Sterk – 8 minutes is our new low
All this to say Mike Tomlin looks like me in that interview. Sweating out of pours you didn’t even know existed, telling people he’s most comfortable when challenged and unsettled.
Sure thing Mike.
Whatever you say dude.