Alright so one thing you guys should already definitely know about me is that I love overly detailed reviews of basically anything. Food always plays but I mean it broadly. You could review mulch and that would resonate with me. Birds. Furniture. Weather. Roads and municipal infrastructure. Bakery selection. I mean quite honestly nothing is on or off the table with me. The whole bag’s in play. I love a review.
In this case we have a corn dog review with a sensational mustard drizzle
So before we even start, I just want to give a shoutout for asking for a review on the review in itself.
This is review inception and I’m here for it.
Corn Dogs Generally
I like ’em.
I maybe don’t seek a corn dog out necessarily. Until I do, then it’s very intentional.
Like strippers.
I don’t want to go to the strip club until I’m at the strip club.
I don’t want to eat corn dogs until I’m eating corn dogs.
Does that make any sense?
Because when a corn dog hits, it’s almost hard – nay – impossible to beat.
The Review
- Starts with action. Love that.
- Cardinals hat. Don’t love it but I respect it so much if that makes sense.
- Heavy mustard that makes it’s way into the mustache/facial hair
- But good job licking it up without losing focus and concentration
- Maintain eye contact with the camera while savoring the flavor profile is like when you rub your belly and pat your head at the same time. Not saying it’s impossible but it’s very hard and should be applauded when you see it in real time so nice job there
- Location – I love a local corn dog. Especially supporting family t-ball. That’s always worth a couple extra points
- I like reviewing the center point temperature but here’s my biggest problem
THERE’S NO SCORE
- Fundamentally it’s a 1.6 review because you didn’t even rate the corn dog
- You need to bite and score it. I don’t care the scale. You could rate it in jules and I know the right conversion table. Just give me something to work with for the love of goodness my friend
- Fucking Cardinals fans
Overall 4.3
I like the effort more than I care to admit but we gotta be scoring our corn dogs guys.
Please.