Great moment last night for everybody when Justin Turner pulled his sack out on live TV.
Almost everybody is saying they’re fake balls but I’m still willing to believe he stretched them out of the zipper on his pants and that he’s got long saggy Anglican balls.
I know they look fake but he also shaves his arms and probably took some kinda performance enhancers in LA. Maybe. I don’t know but it’s believable that he would have weird looking balls and that’s why I have some hesitancy to call these fake balls immediately. The truth is I can’t say with a lot of conviction because I think he could have really weird balls. That’s my point.
But they’re probably fake.
Anyways great moment for people who want Justin Turner DFA’d for not being good. Fact is you need an old guy with saggy balls keeping the locker room loose. That’s a big deal because the season is so long and boring. Guys like Turner keep it a fun place to show up. They build the camaraderie that makes you care about the other 25 guys. It’s important and that can be reflected in Justin Turners balls on display last night. Real or fake, the message remains the same.
So that’s awesome and exactly why I’ve been defending Justin Turner this entire season. While so many of you want him dead, I have been relentlessly reminding everyone that he’s one of the rare veterans that makes everyone better. He’s a Tier 1 old balls kinda player and I can’t say that enough.
Some other things worth saying:
- We play Paul Skenes today and that’s good because Paul Skenes usually gives up 3 runs against the Cubs in 5 or 6 innings. He’s done that in 3 of his 5 starts and most recently this past April when everyone was crying. More on that later.
- Ryan Pressly is the closer again and that’s good because I never trusted Daniel Palenica and that’s for basic mechanical reasons I’ve explained 1,000 times but will try again at a later time
- I need to stop talking about the All Star game but it’s so important to the players and everyone else. It’s a weird position I’m in because I truly just don’t care. And if anything, I’d prefer our players get the rest that week if given a choice. It’s hard to explain without sounding like a grouchy pussy but the general premise is that I want to win the World Series and we need every edge we can get and the All Star game works against that edge. I want rest and relaxation for a dominant 2nd half run.
- That’s definitely a grouchy pussy take though and there’s nothing I can do about it
- Cade Horton is going to shove today and that should excite everybody
- I need to trim my hydrangea bushes this weekend before they get out of control
Some other miscellaneous weekend plans:
- Making a beef tenderloin tonight just because it seems like the right thing to do
- US Open is kinda boring. I’ve watched a lot of it and still don’t have a good feel for this Oakmont place. It’s rather drab. They should have kept the trees in my opinion because that’s more of a classic American look even if it’s not the way it was originally designed. HOT TAKE. I don’t love Oakmont. Sorry.
- JJ Spaun would be a fine winner. Practically any American would do the trick although there’s a couple Europeans I can get behind as well. I don’t discriminate in golf fandom necessarily but same time these colors don’t run. Red White and Blue comes first.
- I’m officially over my crab cake epidemic and that will be reflected on the blog today and this weekend
Let’s make it a good one.
Go Cubs