I don’t want to make a huge deal out of this because I live to see another Matt Shaw play. I need to be in a position to coach him up unnecessarily and this kinda drama could steal my attention from keeping Shaw sharp. So let’s not dwell too much or give this guy all the attention he wants.
But at the same time can we agree it’s pretty fucking weird that Lucroy wants to hit me fungos in response to me saying Matt Shaw didn’t have the worst technique?
That’s an objectively true statement. It’s not the worst technique. Nothing in anything above said by me is false. Harsh? Maybe. But nothing above is even remotely not true so even if you want to criticize me for being too critical, you’d be abandoning basic logic.
- “Not the worst” = it’s not the worst. You can say that about a lot of things I suppose. In this case I can think of much worse plays than this unbelievable barehanded catch and throw.
- A little flashy = it is, in fact, a little flashy which is defined as attention grabbing in an impressive fashion according to some lady named Merriam Webster
- You wear a glove for a reason and that reason is to make plays on the field. Prove me wrong about that.
- Matt Shaw recorded the out thus it worked out
- I am, in fact, more interested in playoff baseball than a mid June contest in Philadelphia
- We can clean all of this up meaning, all of us collectively. The bunch. You me and everyone. We can get Matt Shaw to reach his potential together and that means building a chip on his shoulder by way of unnecessary criticism.
That’s been the season long strategy on CarlsBlogs.com and The Monday Morning Cubs show and I am very sorry if this is news to you. But in the same way Mr. Burns encouraged Don Mattingly to shave sideburns that didn’t exist, I will continue to be difficult on Matt Shaw because it’s good for him in the long-run to have someone up his ass. And that someone is decidedly me.
With that in mind, I’m happy to take groundballs from Jonathan Lucroy. I think it would be super weird for him to hit me a bucket but I’ll do it if any of you guys want to catch up at first base and then probably someone else work the bucket. So that would be two guys total and then I want to do it at Waubonsee Community College in Sugar Grove Illinois and nowhere else. Lucroy has to bring his own bucket of balls and fungo and agree to help me rake and clean the field after. He’s also responsible for supplying his own streaming equipment and I’ll probably want some dinner after either at Open Range or the North Aurora Chilis and I’d ask the veteran millionaire to grab that check out of respect for the game.
And if he thinks he’s just going to stand there and drill missiles at me from 80 feet then we’re going to get into a fight and I think that’s what he wants all along. So I’ll have a crew with me in support and I swear on my life Lucroy we will drag you behind the 3rd base dugout and beat the absolute shit out of you if want to be cute. Just try me on this one and it will be the longest day of your life I promise.
PS – These crab cakes are still kicking and I might not survive the weekend. Never seen anything like it.