Ashton Jeanty Should Fall To The 5th Round With This Trash Signature

Ashton Jeanty’s message to NFL teams 😤

(via @PlayersTribune) pic.twitter.com/5OSxUNLQnQ

— Bussin' With The Boys (@BussinWTB) April 17, 2025

Alexa…

I’ve taken the long way. I’m done with that way. If you pick me, it’s simple: I’m coming to your franchise to do what Saquon and the Eagles just did. I’m coming to win, big, soon.

It’s TACKLE football … you know what I’m saying?

I’d draft the guy they can’t tackle.

Thank you for your time,
Ashton Jeanty

Everyone’s freaking out because Ashton Jeanty reminded the world he plays tackle football and nobody can tackle him. It’s a short but powerful message and it has all the fanboys creaming their shorts because HE WANTS IT

But if you look close enough, you’ll see a digital signature at the bottom and it absolutely fuckin STINKS out loud.

I see an Alabama A and two uneven loaves of french bread.

I see lazy slop with inconsistent ink and a heavy right hand on the pound sign.

I see a signature that’s been practiced thousands upon thousands of times without any signs of improvement.

And if you want to be ultra specific, you could argue yourself into a bad pair of butt cheeks or a swollen vulva in the loopity loop.

Now I understand a lot of people are going to complain that I’m being too harsh of a critic here but all I see is 5th round penmanship. Maybe even undrafted free agent if you consider how weak and flimsy he builds his A

The big bad wolf blows that shit over with a mango vape hit. So don’t even get me started on what Dan Campbell’s front 7 would do to it.

Do I want to be this way?

Absolutely not.

But same time we can’t just fall in love with a runningback because he’s really good at football. Same thing went for Jalen Carter. You have to consider the entire equation and my math says that bullshit signature will cost us too many games down the stretch and that’s simply unacceptable. Especially since our window is wide open with Caleb seamlessly maturing into an MVP candidate.

So let’s do ourselves one big favor and draft a guy that can literally cross his t’s like a grown ass man. Because last time we did that, we put a guy in Canton.

Look familiar?

If you're having a bad day, here's 5+ minutes of Devin Hester returning footballs for touchdowns. pic.twitter.com/JHhwLysBmA

— Football’s Greatest Moments (@FBGreatMoments) April 8, 2025