Alexa
Perfect.
17 games in 18 weeks and not a weakness in sight. Let’s break it down.
- Vikings – JJ McCarthy’s first career start is met with Dayo Odeyingbo’s first start as a Bear meaning Montez Sweat can run free and Kevin O’Connell’s simply not ready to scheme against our front four. Meanwhile Caleb Williams throws for 247 and 1 score, 0 interceptions and just 3 sacks. Win
- @Lions – Dan Campbell is a career 1-3 in week 2 surrendering an average 30 points per contest. He’s also 1-3 in home openers and this time he’s coming off week 1 in Green Bay without Ben Johnson. Hammer the Bears +3 and on the ML. Win
- Cowboys – the extremely rare Soldier Field afternoon kickoff occurs less than 10% of all Bears home games. And truthfully it makes for the best tailgate environment because you get more time to sleep and prepare and marinate the meats, and all of that will be reflected in an absolute drubbing of the Dallas Cowboys. Win
- @Raiders – It’s a blowout from opening kick. Ashton Jeanty fumbles twice and Pete Carroll talks heavily in the postgame about how he almost took the Bears job because we have such a bright future. Win
- Bye Week – Ben Johnson’s first Bye Week and it comes in between road trips. One of the harder weeks on the schedule but I trust coach to use it wisely. Win
- @WashingtonFootballTeam – I might travel to this one just to avoid the montage overload from last year’s Hail Mary and the countless sideline reports on Tyrique Stevenson’s development since. Probably the hardest game to watch on TV all season and for that reason I’d expect Ben Johnson to run it down their fuckin throats. Time of possession favors the Bears 4:1 in a ground game for the ages. Win
- Saints – Somebody from the Saints gets arrested in River North on Saturday night. Colston Loveland goes for his first 100 yard game and Dennis Allen unloads the exotic stuff in the 2nd half while Tyson Bagent plays a full 4th quarter for a 3rd time this year.
- @Ravens – New kicker Tyler Loop shanks a 47 yarder as time expires and Bears escape 21-20 while the Cubs hold a 1-0 lead in the World Series. Win
- @Bengals – Joe Burrow wins the last 8 games of the regular season in dramatic fashion, and the run is spurred by a humiliating defeat at home before a Bye Week against the Bears. He throws 3 picks, gets sacked 5 times and goes viral for asking Ben Johnson to stay in Cincinnati during their postgame handshake/bro-hug. Signature Win
- Giants – Backup quarterback Jameis Winston marvels at the size of Lake Michigan. Brain Daboll has too much bad deep dish from Giordano’s while watching film at the Marriott South Loop. And the Bears offense takes two drives to get going then we hang 47 in another classic blowout. Win
- @Vikings – Caleb Williams goes 22-23 for 348 yards in a 28-27 thriller. First real test of the season but we meticulously march for 7 minutes in the 4th to score a go ahead touchdown. Vikings fumble the squib quick. Victory formation one more time. Win
- Steelers – Bears stay undefeated in CBS broadcasts as Will Howard fails to break 150 yards passing for the 5th straight game. Huge fight breaks out in the north end zone to open up the 2nd quarter. Steelers fans on Steelers fans. Real ugly stuff. Win
- @Eagles – Ben Johnson hosts Thanksgiving dinner at the Four Seasons Philadelphia. George McCaskey thinks it would be a nice touch to invite the spouses as a surprise but Coach Johnson politely refuses out of loyalty to the locker room. It’s a huge rallying moment in the season, especially coming off a short week, and the team responds appropriately with 2 DST touchdowns and a relentless effort from the front 7. Late interception seals a two-possession lead. Win
- @Packers – Caleb Williams improves to 2-0 at Lambeau field. Rom Odunze and Luther Burden combine for 300 yards receiving. Jonah Jackson gets fined by Kangaroo Court for wearing sleeves in pregame warm ups. Packers fans marvel at our run defense. Win
- Browns – Joe Flacco throws for 200 yards in the second half, mounting a ferocious but ultimately short comeback from down 31-0 at halftime. Bears clinch #1 overall seed in NFC. Win
- Packers – 9 inches of snow hits overnight but Ben Johnson had already factored that into a gameplan that mercilessly overpowers Green Bay’s front 7. We don’t need to but he unloads the trick plays anyways. Fat Guy Touchdown in the 1st half. Fat Guy Touchdown in the 2nd half. It’s a party start to finish. Win.
- @Niners – Grueling schedule met with a grueling performance from our secondary in a bizarre Sunday Night Game in that Christmas-New Years window nobody can figure out. Brock Purdy pick six in the mid 4th seals it. Victory formation game. Win.
- Lions – Tyson Bagent throws for 400 yards, which serves as the foundation to an offseason-long debate as to whether or not Caleb Williams is overrated. Look at Bagent week 18 we are reminded over and again at every available opportunity. Cole Kmet catches 2 touchdowns in an emotionally confusing situation because we don’t know if it’s his last game or not while Tory Taylor punts more than twice in a game for the first time all season. Lions score 13 on our backups. Easy Win.
Maybe a couple go the opposite way but overall that’s my most accurate outlook on the 2025 Bears.
To recap:
- MNF to start
- MNF broadcast of the 2024 Hail Mary in week 6
- NO THURSDAY NIGHT SLOP
- One SNF game in No Man’s Land between Christmas and New Years
- Diabolical back to back road games week 8-9 from Cinci to Baltimore
- Kind of a very difficult schedule if we’re being honest
- 17 games is way too many games
- Still like them 17-0 depending entirely on the Bye Week
What did I miss?
Go Bears