I don’t know exactly who needs to hear this so I have chosen to address everybody.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT DANSBY SWANSON.
He’s such a fine baseball player that I actually get emotional defending him because the game means so much to me and I don’t know if there’s an active player that better represents America’s pastime.
He’s as close to perfect as I can explain.
He’s the most focused, dedicated, committed, caring, thoughtful, professional and prepared player I have ever watched in a Cubs uniform.
It’s such a strong feeling that I don’t have the words. I can only offer what’s at my fingertips and then ask you to multiply the sentiment by a billion. And even then, we’re immeasurably short on how much I like Dansby Swanson on the Cubs.
It is so impossible to find anyone worth comparing to Dansby Swanson when it comes to his strengths.
So much that I am willing to say there’s no other professional athlete who gets more from what they have than Dansby Swanson. Probably the most self-improved athlete. Probably the most practiced in Major League Baseball. Certainly the most obsessive over his craft.
To me this stuff comes through clear as day. Just go watch him one time in person and just watch the guy take the field forchrissakes. It’s as obvious as a guitar solo. He’s the guy.
That said.
It disgusts me to compare him to Starlin Castro but I do it for deeper purpose. I need to know exactly what I’m working with before I record the next Monday Morning Cubs show and that means specifically what percentage of Cubs fans are dumb enough to not appreciate Dansby.
There’s no better measure than a fan who likes Starlin more in my opinion.
And the fact we’re at 50/50 honestly makes me want to close up shop and never talk about the Cubs publicly again because the gap is too far and wide. I’m over here romanticizing nuance while half of you are talking about batting average. It’s so bad I’m compelled to be downright mean and that’s stuff I’ll always regret. I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Even if half of you are complete fucking morons who should be dropped off at Goodwill or the bottom of Lake Michigan.
Nevertheless I march on.
Defiantly.
You should like Dansby Swanson more than you hate him. He’s been miserable with runners in scoring position which doesn’t last forever because it’s a janky statistic. I have more faith in bullpen road splits because fans are mean while they warm up. I would rather talk about an umpire’s strike zone. Or what kinda panties the foul ball broad’s wearing because that’s more real to me than Dansby’s 3-month rolling RISP numbers. As a certified public accountant licensed to talk about numbers, I’m telling you professionally that Dansby’s stats will turn.
When they do and your house of cards falls apart, remember you wanted Starlin Castro – a guy so loose on fundamentals that he averaged 170 hits a season for a decade in MLB and was still banished from affiliated baseball before age 32.
For reference, Kyle Schwarber turned 32 this past March but I digress.
My point is that you guys should appreciate everything about Dansby Swanson a lot more.
My second point is that RISP is a janky complaint to overlook a .430 slug and gold glove defense.
Finally – if you want to be mad, be mad that:
- Matt Shaw is 92% worse than your major league average hitter (seriously)
- Justin Turner started over Michael Busch against lefties for most of this entire season
- Nico Hoerner doesn’t have enough power to hit 5th over Dansby
- We don’t any other right handed hitters that can hit higher than Dansby
- Tom Ricketts charges $19 for an IPA in stadium
There’s a lot.
You can still be mad that Dansby blows with runners on 2nd and 3rd. Just remember there’s a lot of other deserving things in front.
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