Alright so this is one of those things a casual sports fan just completely glosses over while I literally can’t stop rewinding Tiger Woods small talking Aberg into the ground.
It happens quick around the 1:39 mark in the video below
It’s such harmless European-socially-awkward small talk. Reminds me of the time I went on yacht week with a bunch of Swedes about 15 years ago and those losers couldn’t talk their way out of a paper bag. Just a bunch of Yahhh’ing and elongated affirmations hidden behind fake smiles and empty stares. Those guys didn’t have one interesting thing to say for almost two full weeks.
They were good at tying knots though. I will give them that. Swedes can rope with the best cowboys in America.
But small talk?
No fuckin shot buddy.
One of his favorites?
Tiger Woods has more tournament wins at Torrey Pines than Rickie Fowler has across his entire career.
The tone of his voice sends me over the edge. The hushed whisper like he’s about to start naming Perkins waitresses he still owes child support to:
- Chastity
- Vanessa
- Theresa
- Crystal
- Krystal
- Dolores
- Janet
- Nikki with the big tits
- Nikki with the fake tits
- Nikki with the pierced tongue
- Donna
- Bianca
- Tina
- Gabby
- Sandy
That’s the best and most American version of Tiger Woods to me. It’s the combination of being so big league but doing it so casually like he doesn’t even remember if it’s 7 Buicks. He needs to confirm with Ludvig and he absolutely expects him to know how many times he’s won that tournament. That’s why he’s casual about the number. It could be wrong and he would expect Ludvig to correct him
The numbah is EIGHT
Anyways that’s the entire blog guys. Sometimes they’re really going to be this simple because we have to keep it moving.
Now if you’ll excuse me. Tiger highlights: