WGN — The Cubs released their promotional calendar for the 2025 season on Tuesday, featuring special ticket offers, theme games and gate giveaways — including five new bobbleheads.
The five new bobbleheads this season will feature Cubs players Michael Busch, Shota Imanaga and Pete Crow-Armstrong, as well as Cubs legend and Baseball Hall of Famer Greg Maddux and team mascot Clark the Cub.
Bobbleheads are handed out to the first 10,000 fans to enter Wrigley Field on these dates:
- Saturday, April 19: Pete Crow-Armstrong
- Saturday, April 26: Clark the Cub
- Sunday, June 1: Shota Imanaga
- Sunday, June 22: Michael Busch
- Sunday, Aug. 3: Greg Maddux (1988 rain delay bobblehead)
Normally I do a big long look at all the promotional items the Cubs are giving away throughout the season. But this time I’m stuck on bobbleheads because I can’t believe Clark the Cub gets one on April 26th. Like it really bothers me that we can’t do better than our pantsless mascot that nobody really asked for other than it allows the Cubs to upcharge community events.
An extra 5 grand gets you 20 minutes with Clark
Little do you know there’s a dozen Clarks on any given day out there hustling the general public on appearance fees. It’s classic Tom Ricketts and Crane Kenney pounding the people for an extra buck but I digress.
My point is that Clark the Cub does not deserve a bobblehead and I absolutely hate the Cubs for putting me in this position. There’s literally 40 guys on the roster + a hundred former players worth commemorating. Then about 10 miles of shit and then maybe you might have an argument for Clark.
Which reminds me.
The Cubs should have an official adult mascot called The Bleacher Bum that’s basically a shirtless 40 year old guy that’s always hammered, leading chants, handing out cigs and lighters and buying people beer and always in a good mood. Someone the Cubs recognize officially and endorse and work with on a character level status. Like the old guy at 6 flags but much younger and more of a transient hippie vibe. I’m not auditioning or submitting myself on this either. I mean purely from a fan experience standpoint, an adult Bleacher Bum mascot would be a much more welcomed touch that Clark.
Most important thing is the characterization. I want fat and sloppy and harmlessly wasted always. Give me the biggest creature Wrigleyville has to offer and make him sleep in left field without leaving the property. He can shower in the visitors clubhouse and eat unlimited concessions.
I know a lot of you are saying this is Ronnie Woo Woo but I’m actually being serious here for a minute. Make this an annual position with one-year service terms. I think we’re on to something here and even then, I would NEVER GIVE THIS GUY A BOBBLEHEAD.
That’s the point and it makes me sick nobody working for the Cubs gets it. Give me a Morandini or a Blauser or Henry Rodriguez before you give me a Clark. Give me anything before a Clark. Seriously.
Also – Michael Busch must have contract negotiations open for an extension. Otherwise I fail to see how he gets a Bobblehead when we’ve got Kyle Tucker for one year? Maybe do something nice for the new guy vs. catering to the .422 slugging percentage.
Here’s some other giveaways:
Gate giveaways
The Cubs will have nearly 20 gate giveaways this season such as an umbrella hat and Ryne Sandberg look-a-like flip-up sunglasses.
Other gate giveaways include the usual Opening Day magnet schedule, a Dansby Swanson flow headband, a Blues Alternate Jersey giveaway and a Bluetooth speaker to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Cubs radio broadcasts.
Bluetooth speaker is nice but I think bluetooth technology is sneaky bad for us.
I’m also a little soft on magnet schedules and really anything that doesn’t cross $1.00 per unit cost of goods sold.
Theme games
In addition to the annual Pride Celebration, the Cubs will host an additional two new theme games this season: Camp Cubs and Oktoberfest.
The dates are as follows:
- Thursday, June 12: Pride Celebration
- Wednesday, July 2: Camp Cubs
- Tuesday, Sept. 23: Oktoberfest
The pride celebration game is always pretty gay, which I think is on purpose. That said, Oktoberfest sounds absolutely LOVELY. Never been to one of those and probably won’t be seeing Germany any time soon so best I can do is September 23rd at the Friendly Confines.
Fine by me. Probably going to have two or three cold beers tonight just to stay sharp.