If the White Sox played baseball as well as they made delicious food then nobody would have any fuckin problems with Jerry Reinsdorf’s ownership. You’d be too busy hanging banners and retiring numbers and building all those goofy statues you guys talked about a couple years ago.
Instead we’re sitting here just a week away from opening day in complete and utter disgust with the state of the Sox.
So much that if Jerry died tomorrow, you’d all wait in a long line just to confirm the body was cold for yourselves.
There’d be almost no respects from the city and I don’t think any Sox fans want to argue with me here.
Sad?
Absolutely.
But have you heard about new food lineup?
Jerry’s been in the kitchen all winter long cooking up some special additions to the menu and I think you guys are going to be very satisfied:
Vienna Reuben
This is exactly how I like my corned beef: shaved to 50% opacity with abject translucency under most fluorescents and incandescent lighting.
Nice sandwich.
All-Beef Patty Melt On Griddled Rye
Really nice caramelization and one of the rare sandwiches at Guaranteed Rate that comes stock cut in half. That makes for a nice casual dining experience without demanding a pocket full of napkins.
Also really strong coverage from a traditionally neutral Swiss.
Chicken Sliders/Sammies
I want to see a little bit more slather with the chipotle mayo but I also didn’t expect such a crisp crinkle cut on the pickle. So take the good with the bad and in this case it’s almost all good.
Also looks like a soft brioche but could be a potato. I can’t say which one for sure, but it’s definitely an enriched-starch-based bun. Maybe a little problematic to the celiacs but I enjoy the balance afforded from a minimalist sandwich that reaches for all the flavor.
Other quick observations on the bird:
- Elite texture
- Could probably use an Asian slaw
- 2024 into 2025 has been a bad year for the chicken
- Hopefully priced in the $12.95 range
Korean Fare
Not for me. I don’t like hot dog gimmicks and I have a hard time digesting sesame seeds.
That said, K-Pop is huge and I’m sure the food comes with it.
Again, not for me. But it’s still a sharp play from the White Sox marketing department to compete against the Cubs’ stronghold on Japan.
Chitalian
I don’t go to baseball games for chilled, cured meats. And if I did, it would be JP Graziano and nothing less. So excuse me for having some natural questions.
That said – nothing pairs more perfectly with 12 light domestics than the Italian sub flavor profile. So while quality might lack, the strategy and execution is really sharp and I like that.
Loaded Brisket Curds
I see loaded fries. I see loaded tots. But never have I seen loaded curds and that’s where Jerry wins me over. He’s a true pioneer in all manners of innovation and creativity. Crazy it took a plate of curds for me to see it so clearly.
125th Anniversary Milkshake
Solid if not spectacular and most certainly more affordable than a $38 beer bat from Wrigley Field.
Overall score on the 20-80 scouting scale is probably close to a 55-60.
It’s definitely enough to win you ball games and compete for a division year after year. But there’s still some opportunities to shape the menu towards a hall of fame trajectory. Like maybe doing a Hibachi in section 109 or building out a more complete lamb-roasted gyro program.
But I don’t want to judge the White Sox on the tools they don’t have. I’d rather celebrate what works and that’s a diverse offering of handhelds strategically located across the ballpark coupled with the league’s most robust milkshake program.
If that’s not enough then you simply don’t deserve Jerry’s leadership.
I can’t wait to eat all of these when I go to Sox games for free with an empty can of Sprite this summer