President Trump said that we would be getting Greenland “one way or another” last night so I figured we should get acquainted with our future countrymen. Kinda like Major League 2 when Jack Parkman tells Jake Taylor to get off the tracks when the train’s coming through.
In this case though Greenland is Jake Taylor, Trump is Jack Parkman, and the train is the addition of Greenland to the contingent United States.
Will it be a territory?
Is Puerto Rico on board?
Does anyone know the true size of Greenland?
Are we cool with it being -94 degrees Farenheidt in Greenland?
These are the things on my mind as we prepare for the integration and I’m not sure everyone else is thinking about the bigger implications.
So today we start with a brief little documentary on Greenland just in case we join forces
It’s 3 times the size of Texas

Some other fun facts according to Chat GPT
- Largest Island: Greenland is the world’s largest island, covering over 2.1 million square kilometers.
- Autonomous Territory: It’s an autonomous territory of Denmark, with its own government.
- Population: About 56,000 people live there, mostly of Inuit descent.
- Capital: Nuuk is the capital and largest city.
- Climate: Greenland has an Arctic climate, with long, harsh winters and short summers.
- Ice Sheet: Over 80% of its land is covered by an ice sheet.
- Biodiversity: It has unique wildlife, including polar bears, musk oxen, and whales.
- Natural Resources: Rich in minerals, including rare earth metals.
- No Trees: The island has no native trees, only sparse vegetation.
- Tourism: Growing as a destination for adventure tourism, including dog sledding and ice hiking.
That’s all nice but personally I don’t really give a shit about Greenland. It’s fine for a military presence but if the whole point is to mine precious metals then I think you’re pissing on my head and telling me it’s raining.
Where do you stand on annexation of Greenland? And should that be a basis for a Little Giants sequel?
Probably not. I’ve seen Disney ruin enough classics lately and we don’t need to add any more to the list.
More importantly, I’m not anti-Greenland as much as I don’t really loose sleep out about Greenland. Take it or leave it.