It was Michael Jordan’s 62nd birthday yesterday and I tried my best to pay concise respects. I think a more appropriate follow-up today is starting things off with a heat check compilation that spans almost 30 minutes.
The heat check is one of the greatest places any athlete can find themself. You have a blank check to fire ridiculous shots for no other reason than you made one or two in a row. So now you have blanket authority to pull from anywhere on the right side of half-court, and everyone knows it’s coming. The building is set to explode should you see your heat check through. It’s the best vibe basketball has going outside the last 2 minutes.
What’s the heat check equivalent in real life?
- Sales – you close one or two deals and now the cold calls and meetings and emails all start flowing a little easier
- Relationships – two good dates, you might go play bocce ball on the 3rd or live band karaoke or something that would typically be outside your comfort zone. But you’re kinda hot so let’s ride
- Gambling – You’re +1.8 units to start a Saturday morning. Better get the parlay calculator out
- Golf – Hitting driver on a short par 4 because you found a handful of fairways on the front 9 and don’t want to miss an opportunity now that you’re grooving
- Hanging with in-laws – the first couple jokes hit and it feels like your mother in law is really warming up to your sense of humor. Good time for that Haitian dog joke you’ve been saving
- McDonald’s – You got a decent night of sleep and are craving two McMuffins to start your Tuesday despite knowing that’s just a really bad idea. HEAT CHECK MCMUFFIN
- Lucky Shirt – You got laid this one time wearing a button-up shirt and you’re convinced it has magical properties. You bring it to Vegas for a bachelor party. Classic heat check.
- Cut a fart around your wife that she doesn’t smell. Then you feel a bigger one brewing so you let it go on the couch.
- Fantasy Football when you bench a guy on a hunch and it pays off remarkably. You think you’re hot shit going into the next week and intentionally play a worse lineup because you can feel a couple breakout games
- Leaving work just a little early when nobody is paying attention. Then doing it again the next Friday. And then getting a stern talking from a manager that thinks you need to be more visible. That’s probably my favorite heat check ever.
Speaking of heat check, it’s -23 right now (wind chill) and I think it’s the worst week of the calendar year. It’s too cold to leave the house. Too close to nicer weather. Too far from the holidays. And there’s always more snow lurking.
So in that sense, I could use a monster heat check from Mother Nature to get me through the week. Nothing rapid that floods the surrounding neighborhood basements. But just maybe start dripping in some 25s and 30s into a cloudy 47 next Monday?
That would be nice and so would a decent fucking Bulls team to get me through this part of the calendar. Neither are ever going to happen so let’s just do our best to have a decent day.