I hate posting a video from Dov but same time this just sucked the breath right out of my lungs. I’m sucking eggs like it’s a conditioning test in college and I spent all of Christmas break deleting Miller Lites and McDoubles. Honestly somebody call a doctor and send them out to Sterk Family Farms pronto. I am breaking under the realization that we don’t deserve Jameis Winston.
What I want to know is why did it take me so long to realize he’s such a cool guy? And who can I blame for that? Because I feel like there’s a decade+ of Jameis in the spotlight before it really came to light that he has an incorruptible heart of gold.
Maybe it was the Fuck Her Right In The Pussy thing. Or stealing crab legs from a Publix or some other casual Class C misdemeanor boys-being-boys stuff. The media wasted no time trying to get guys like me to dismiss Jameis and that’s exactly what I did. I got coached into not being a fan and I stayed there until it became obvious I was wrong and had been mislead. Turns out Jameis Winston was awesome the whole time and I just wasn’t paying attention.
Personally I blame the Chicago Bears because I seriously just hate quarterbacks. All of them including my own. There isn’t one quarterback on this planet that I actually like except for probably Mitch and that’s because Mitch was a good guy. Then maybe Josh Allen because I like Josh Allen. Otherwise it’s a pretty negative sentiment that I can’t erase because of #Trauma.
My own mental health issues aside, that’s gotta be an elite New Orleans experience. So much weird stuff going on Bourbon Street that this somehow feels normal. You can drink absinthe and legally hallucinate while getting jerked off by a Polynesian dwarf and that would be called a Thursday afternoon. Just about anything goes and you can apply that liberally.
Last time I was in New Orleans, I went to a dive bar that was nearly empty save for Sean Payton. He was wearing a visor and drinking Budweiser. I told him I graduated from Eastern Illinois and he bought me a beer and said hello to a small group of friends. It reminded me a lot of the time I hung out with Bob Stoops at the Hangge-Uppe. All of these are worth different blogs at different times. But for now the point is simple: Jameis Winston in New Orleans operating a Bike Taxi is fucking awesome.
Now someone please turn up the mic.