I don’t know who needs to hear this so I’ll just address everybody.
I saw this clip of Landon Donovan today while eating a Turkey sandwich and it made me very sad.
I’m not telling anyone what to do with their life, time or money. But my general point is that if Landon Donovan needs a hair “system” vs. trimming it bald then, what hope do regular guys like you and me have?
My hair blows. At least what’s left of it.
There’s been a full blown retreat for over 2 decades on a landscape that’s best described as oddly shaped amidst an egregiously oversized forehead. So much that a reasonable person with a reasonably functioning brain would categorize my hair and hairline as nothing short of fundamentally abhorrent.
But as I’ve gotten older, I see it more as a unique feature. A characteristic of sorts. A thing that belongs to me and me only, which added together makes me who I am.
That said.
Would you fuck me if I had better hair?
Would I be more valuable to the overall state of society if my hair was thick and luscious and wavy and full?
Is a better head of hair holding back my pursuit of a loving, happy, fulfilling life?
If you asked me at 24 then I would assume yes to all of those, and that’s because of the inevitable and inherent insecurities available to young men.
Somehow it was such a big deal to have Sick Flow.
Rewind me to college baseball and it was a tier-1 talking point. Look at their shortstop’s flow. Just look at it dude. That’s so sick.
I said shit like that.
And I meant it.
He’s probably knee deep in Eastern’s best trim
And while the babes at Eastern Illinois University are criminally underrated, you simply can’t disguise envy with admiration. I wanted something I didn’t have, and that something was commonly and often-overtly respected by peers. I wanted sick flow. Bad.
…
…
…
…
…
It never came.
Instead, several personal questions took its place
- Why am I not getting laid more
- Why am I not making more money
- Why doesn’t she text me back
- Should I be making more money
- Where did I leave me wallet
- Does anyone even give a shit?
The answer is categorically and unequivocally: No.
But to you, it’s everything.
You learn habits and routines to make the best of a bad situation. Which is ultimately still very bad.
You cut it extremely short.
You wear a hat far too often.
You grow facial hair or wear blue light glasses or aggressively comb and style yourself into something different.
Whatever it is, the important distinction worth recognizing is that you’re actively and intentionally trying your best to improve yourself. However misaligned that intent may be, let us both first celebrate and acknowledge its existence as a step in the right direction. The fact you care. Or that I care(d). Or that other men care deeply enough to do something is the foundational spirit to our collective reality.
“It’s a good thing to care” – Mom
All of this to say that Landon Donovan cared enough to wear that ridiculous wig today. And I now want to use this opportunity to say something very important to me.
You’re perfect the way you are – exactly how you were made – regardless of whatever aesthetic and cosmetic enhancements you so desire.
Whoever needs to hear it. Let me please say it again.
You are perfect the way you are.
However you are.
Whoever you are.
And maybe not in the traditional sense of being flawless. But more in the sense of acceptance and love and being authentic to the one version of you that will ever exist.
This is getting heavy…
I saw that clip of Landon Donovan today and it squared me up emotionally because so many guys out there feel like complete shit about themselves over the uncontrollable and insignificant.
On a personal level – I can absolutely relate to the emotional and subsequent cost of Wasted Time. Nobody stared the mirror down more or chewed the gum harder than me folks.
On a community level – I’m compelled to say the space between your ears is significantly more important than that above.
That’s what I would tell myself at 24 if I could go back in time.
But I can’t so I’m writing this blog instead and hoping it reaches at least one young and doubtful guy.
So let me just say it one more time.
You’re perfect just the way you are, with or without being the most recognizable American face in the world’s most popular sport.