Power Ranking The Wrigleyville Bars

Wrigley Field Home Opener is here and it’s one of the best days of the year.

As such I wanted to issue my first batch of Wrigleyville bar rankings. These are current for April 2025

1. Sluggers
2. Murphys
3. Yak Zies
4. Bernies
5. Nisei
6. Stretch
7. Country Club
8. Cubby Bear
9. HVAC
10. Merkles
11. Guthries
12. Output
13. Old Crowe
14. Gman
15. Sports Corner
16. Vines
17. Rizzos
18. Roadhouse 66
19. Dugout
20. Moes
21. Sandlot
22. Happy Camper

Some comments on the list:

• These rankings are subject to change on a monthly basis
• Sluggers is far and away #1
• I might have Nisei too high but it’s the 2nd most unique bar on the list behind Sluggers
• Murphys is my favorite pregame vibe but I never go there postgame. So that could be overrated too
• YakZies is basically Sluggers first floor just a little more control to the chaos. So it’s good sloppy stuff for corporate America outings
• Bernies is a corner tavern in all respects. They have my favorite bartenders by a mile
• Stretch will get you the most fucked up without having to reach over peoples shoulders. You get a server but the high tables are right next to the bar. So it’s rapid fire.
• Country Club is like a college bar for people in their 30’s which is really cool
• HVAC has affordable pizza and live music
• Merkles is dark and damp and has the most underrated menu
• Guthries is a walk and no frills but has elite vibes and is a real neighborhood joint
• Happy Camper fuckin blows
• Output has the best wings
• Sports Corner is the best bar if you’re short on time and just want to have a couple beers and meet your friends somewhere convenient near the park. If you’re numb to anything nice then I really like Sports Corner actually
• I confuse Vines with Rizzos all the time even though they’re a block apart
• Roadhouse 66 if you’re too wasted to make a decision
• Moes if you want some trashy pussy
• Sandlot if you’re on a bachelorette party that’s out of place
• And dugout if you’re trying to scalp tickets and spend $10 on a round of drinks for 5 people

This is my analysis and these are my rankings.

I’ll be at the game today handing out free samples of Sterk Family Farm balms so if you see something say something.

From a baseball perspective, we’ve got Shota Imanaga pitching against baseballs hottest team the San Diego Padres. We’re probably the two hottest teams in the National League and we’re playing 3 straight day games. That’s a huge advantage for us but we need to keep the bats rolling.

My guess is Counsell rolls out the following:

1. Happ
2. Tucker
3. Suzuki
4. Busch
5. Swanny
6. Nico
7. PCA
8. Shaw
9. Amaya

We’ve got a fully rested bullpen and then Shota-Boyd-Brown on the mound.

If we go 2-1 then you can start overreacting.

Otherwise just try to enjoy the day baseball and most importantly Go Cubs.