Sam is a Must Follow for Cubs fans and that’s not news for a lot of you. She’s behind the scenes every day supporting the boys and sharing photos from Wrigley. It’s really good stuff and kind of my daily wake up that the boys are rolling into the field. So go follow her if you like the Cubs because then you’ll have realizations like the fact that Matt Shaw is a front pocket wallet guy:
I know Chicago is tough but you don’t need to be nervous about getting pick pocketed Matt.
And on topic, that’s just too big of a bulge for my rookie 3rd baseman. I want to see that tightened up now that you’re a big leaguer because there’s no reason to introduce that kind of asymmetry in the body.
If you do though, be a real man and throw it behind one of your butt cheeks. If you’re gonna bulge, do it properly because there’s no value in this level of indiscretion. I could see that wallet coming from a mile away and that’s how you actually get robbed around here. So while you think you’re sharp for avoiding a classic pick, you’re actually inviting a whole different category of violent crime with this obnoxious front pocket wallet.
Obviously disappointing to see him look like a little boner here but good thing is we can work on this together. We can be more big league and act sweeter and look cooler because that’s what big league corner infielders do. They look sweet.
What they don’t do?
Front pocket wallets basically ever.
And if you think I’m being too hard on Matt Shaw, that’s because I am on purpose. It’s part of the game to never let a rookie take a day off. The boogeyman is always coming and I need him sharp because of it. That’s how you take a top prospect and turn him into a perennial all star and that’s exactly what we’re trying to do with Matt Shaw.
But first clean that fuckin wallet up buddy.
Generally agree with the take—been a butt pocket guy 95% of my life. However, recently pivoted to front pocket when I noticed I was having hip and lower back alignment issues from sitting on it. The wallet absolutely has way too much girth though —slim that sucker down. But unless you want to launch a Sterk Family Farms Miracle Balm with IcyHot in it, I’ll allow the front pocket to slide.
Never thought I’d be given a complex about being a front pocket wallet guy, but here we are.